The Nervous System's Role in How We View Ourselves & The World

Our nervous system, and the state that it’s in, is responsible for our entire lived experience. It decides what sensations we pay attention to and which ones we ignore. It profoundly shapes the the thoughts we think and the emotions we feel. It shapes our perception of time and how quickly or slowly it passes. It determines the way we view ourselves, what we believe about others, and how safe, dangerous, hopeful the outside world appears to be. 

Regulated and dysregulated nervous systems create experiences that are starkly different. When we’re regulated, we often feel present, confident, and capable. Our thoughts are clear and productive. There is a sense of ease and flow to what we do. We view ourselves favourably and we trust our innate resilience. People appear less threatening and the outside world looks less dangerous. In a regulated state, we have a natural desire to connect with others and we feel inspired to explore or create. 

In contrast, when our nervous system is in a state of dysregulation, we often feel unsafe, insecure, or incapable. We may ruminate on past mistakes or fret over future uncertainties. We often perceive others and the outside world as threatening and dangerous. Everything feels too much and we don’t view ourselves as good, smart, strong, attractive, wealthy, loved, or accomplished enough. Time may feel like it's sprinting away or crawling at a snail’s pace. 

When there is real danger present, our nervous system wisely enters a state of dysregulation in order to mobilize a defence. When faced with an actual threat, it’s essential that our nervous system shifts gears so we’re prepared for it. The fight, flight, freeze, fawn, or shutdown states that we find ourselves in are incredibly wise strategies that have protected us from danger in the past. These responses have kept us safe and alive.

When we encounter situations that remind us of past danger, our nervous system springs into action activating a cascade of bodily responses that enable us to handle the perceived threat. Adrenaline and cortisol are released and our breathing and heart rate speeds up. Blood is diverted to our major muscles preparing our body for action. The circumstance we face may not actually be dangerous, but the nervous system would rather have a false alarm than be unprepared for danger. Unfortunately, this means that we often find ourselves in states of dysregulation when the situation doesn’t require it. 

When we are dysregulated in moments of genuine safety, our nervous system is superimposing a past experience onto the present moment. Intellectually, we may understand that our current circumstance doesn’t warrant our activated response, but it can be incredibly difficult to talk or think ourselves out of dysregulation. This is because the parts of the brain responsible for our survival responses operate on a preverbal level, meaning that they don’t communicate through language.

In moments of dysregulation, the amygdala, our brain’s threat detector, becomes activated, while the parts of the brain responsible for higher-order thinking and impulse control become less active. When a threat is perceived, the amygdala sends signals to the brain stem, triggering an automatic survival response. Because both the amygdala and brain stem function preverbal­ly, they don’t understand messages like “calm down and relax” or “everything’s fine”. These words can often make the situation worse. 

In order to achieve regulation, we have to show and not just tell our nervous system that we’re safe. If our subconscious mind is operating under the assumption that we’re still in the past, we have to find ways to gently remind it that we are no longer stuck in that previous scenario. We can do this in a number of ways such as connecting with our senses, going for a walk, spending time with a pet, taking a bath, eating a nourishing meal, listening to a favourite song, dancing, or connecting with people whom we trust. 

By repeatedly bringing our attention to the felt sense of safety in the present moment, we accumulate evidence that we are actually safe. Over time, we gradually train our nervous system to respond differently to familiar stressors that remind us of the past. With enough practice, circumstances that once gave rise to our dysregulation begin to lose their power over us and the present becomes a place were we can truly thrive.